what's the most beautiful form of relationship?
an expansive relationship or a transactional relationship? well, undoubtedly, definitely an expansive relationship where two humans come together to experience the genuine vibration of mutual love, respect, & expansion of human consciousness while also experiencing the best of life together.
how to call in an expansive relationship that brings out the best in us? well, the answer is simple but requires some effort to understand this "how"...
firstly, the tone of every relationship in life is set upon the relationship that we have with our own self (the ego self & soul self, the lower self & the higher self), you must allow your mind to become a bridge between your lower self (ego/physicality) & your higher-self (soul/spirituality) so that you are effortlessly aligned with your true calling this lifetime on earth. we must become your own best friend & best partner, before we embark on a journey of friendship/partnership with another being. the relationship we have with our own self defines the quality of our relationship with others. you must create order within you to create order outside of yourself in your physical reality. you must create a great sense of balance between your inner masculine & inner feminine within you, so that you also find a well balanced outer reality for yourself. where you logic & intuition co-create your desired reality for yourself, that which gives you true enthusiasm & brings you most peace, most happiness, most fulfilment, most abundance, & most contentment.
an expansive relationship is based on radical honesty, mutual respect & understanding which brings you closer to the light within you. you feel lighter & more free to express & be yourself. you find yourself at peace with the world. you're seeding pure love consciousness into the world around you. you feel you've found your own core, your own love, your own magic, your own universe, your own source inside of you, within you.
your healthy & expansive relationship is centered around what brings you & your partner peace, which helps you feel comforted while you grow both materially & spiritually. you experience a safe & secure space to grow together. relationships & friendships that are genuine & built on the basis of complete honesty help you expand your consciousness level while you also help yourself & your friend/partner to heal yourselves through inner work & acceptance of one another as you are. you don't carry the burden of expectations from each other, instead you both carry a support system within yourselves to help understand & honor one another. you open your hearts to each other, & you don't shy away from expressing your truth to each other. such an expansive relationship/connection not only elevates your mind & soul but also helps you connect with the source love knowing that grace & love fill the space in between you & your partner/friend.
as you begin to prioritize your own emotional, mental, spiritual, & financial well-being, you have understood that the holding space for others does not mean you sacrifice your own well-being. the fact that you're choosing not to set yourself on fire in order to keep others warm is a proof enough that you're freeing yourself from emotional codependency. yes, relationship is not a coping mechanism.
relationships must not be used as a tool of diversion from one's shadow self & escape from understanding one's own inner self. we must heal ourselves before getting on the bandwagon of starting relationships to avoid feeling the void within that's left there due to inner child wounding. healing one's own inner child is one's own responsibility. it is not fair to expect one's partner to fill the void left by poor parenting or past traumas without addressing what lies inside of us. that which makes up our emotional body... what's your emotional body made of? you felt loved, supported, appreciated, accepted, & embraced by your caretakers growing up & also now? yes? then you have a light body & you are already healed... if it's other way round, you must heal your shadow.
sharing my example with you, about a decade back i used to hide how i felt within, i used to pretend everything was okay in my life, i used to try fitting in by looking my best, i didn't want to risk being seen as someone weak. while inside i felt vulnerable, scared & lost. i was wearing a mask of living a picture perfect life to seem all put together to others who were also perhaps trying to do the same. since, i was wearing a mask myself, i was surrounded by masked individuals lacking depth & honesty as well, as it was within me so it was without. this break in my inner self & outer self created alot of tension & pretense in all my relationships. there was a sense of "deception" felt by me & also perhaps by people around me. until one day... one day i realized i got to be my true most & authentic self... by the end of 2013, i have had enough, my soul was crying out for my ego mind to give in trying to fit in & just become the true most self... that moment til now, i am never dishonest... when studying fashion design in 2013, everyone else focused on fashion trends, fame, & material luxuries, i focused on emotional/mental health... led to switching majors (2014)... began psychology & a journey of understanding self as a whole began... yes, all to understand self... because, understanding yourself well, you understand all else well as well...
as a result, i took & take responsibility for my shortcomings instead of finding flaws in others. i admit my own flaws. this is my way of showing radical acceptance towards my own self. you got to love yourself fully. you free yourself from unnecessary emotional burden. you have empathy towards yourself, your connections will naturally lean towards kind collaborations & not competitions. making it even more easy for you, if i abandon my true self, my own soul, i will naturally experience relationships where i feel abandoned. isnt it? so yes, you accept & nurture yourself as you are. you prioritize your well-being. know that your partnership/relationship is meant to be your safe space & you make it your safe space by offering space & safety to your own true self to be. remember, life is a beautiful song sung to your human self by your own soul self... there are no "others"... it's always me vs myself playing a catalyst for my own healing & soul-alignment... i know my relationships mirror back the relationship i have with my own self... where do you see yourself in your relationships?
i invite you to lovingly take a look at all your relationships... what do you see? i hope & pray you find love, honesty, understanding, acceptance, & peace in all your relationships... be honest with yourself, love yourself, understand yourself, accept yourself, & prioritize yourself... thats how you heal yourself & also heal the world!!!
sending lots of love your way..
Ayesha Sohrab (Eyesh/asha)
